A Fresh Look at How Women Orgasm During Sex

Naturally in talking publicly about sex I have been asked for my credentials. I find such questions slightly ironic when one sees the variety of contradictory explanations for women’s sexual experiences provided by people who hold professional qualifications.

One expert will claim that women orgasm by the age of 19; another asserts 30. Some say that clitoral stimulation is needed for orgasm and others that clitoral stimulation is irrelevant to female orgasm.

There is evidently little requirement for logic, facts or consensus of opinion in the explanations given for women’s sexual experiences. So how are we supposed to know what to believe?

Go Ask Alice! is one of the few sources willing to acknowledge that many women have difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner. They admit that some women only ever orgasm through masturbation or oral sex and NEVER orgasm during sex. They advise that some women learn how to orgasm during intercourse with practice.

I would be the first person to agree that these facts are very depressing for any of us to accept. BUT sadly they are the FACTS.

How women reach orgasm

Over the last ten years and more I have used my own personal experience to question the facts, logic and common sense of a wide variety of ‘expert’ opinions and explanations.

My conclusions are based on an analysis of women’s general sexual behaviours in society as well as on other women’s individual sexual experiences. My aim is to provide women, who can identify with what I am saying, with the benefit of the conclusions that I have drawn in the hope that they might find them helpful.

(1) Clitoral stimulation is needed for female orgasm

” … certainly, it is easier for most women to be orgasmic during masturbation than during intercourse. … With masturbation, a woman can focus sexual stimulation precisely where she finds it most arousing, … For most women, masturbation involves some form of stimulation of the clitoris, whereas with intercourse, the clitoris is only stimulated indirectly, …” (p587 Human Sexuality (fifth edition) 1995)

(2) Clitoral stimulation is only effective when combined with the use of sexual fantasies

“Few of us reach orgasm without fantasy …” (p13 Hot Sex 1998)

We can certainly confirm that women use both clitoral stimulation and sexual fantasies to reach orgasm during masturbation alone. However, this does not mean that the same orgasm techniques always work effectively as part of a sexual relationship. In particular, a woman may not find it possible to use her sexual fantasies effectively during sex with a lover.