Over the years, many women have been thought of as the paragons of virtue, the keepers of sexual morality and the targets of men’s affections. However, it has imposed enormous pressure upon women to abide by the mores they’ve been taught to believe in when there is the same natural affinity for closeness and sexual contact within them as exists within men.
All of those reservations and restrictions are the result of conditioning of young girls and women to remain separated and aloof from their innate sexual drives in the hope they will remain chaste instead of succumbing to their sexual drives. This was very important before The Pill was invented, but it appears to have less viability today.
However, all that conditioning has led to a lot of sexual frustration instead of sexual abandon and many young women today would prefer to embrace their God-given sexuality, but are no longer able to make those conscious choices because their subconscious minds have accepted the programming of decades telling them to beware of their sexual drives. As a result, women are often victims of their parents’ Victorianism and they have little or no way out of their conundrum. Many remain frustrated because they cannot express their sexuality freely and they have no ready means at their disposal to change it easily – until now.
Emotional Freedom Technique, EFT, is a meridian based acupressure technique that will literally eliminate the limitations that women impose upon themselves as a result of their conditioning. That is because those limitations are “self-limiting beliefs” which is exactly what EFT is intended to resolve. It is done by “tapping” lightly on carefully mapped meridian access points around the head and upper body which, in turn, eliminate blockages within the meridian system quickly and easily. When that happens, the self-limiting belief that they cannot, should not or could not become sexually free can be eliminated. It occurs because by lightly tapping on all those points, the person breaks up the blockage within the meridians. By doing that, the negative thoughts or self-limiting beliefs quickly disappear. It is as simple as that. That means change is now available.
The primary difficulty with EFT is determining how to focus this energy balancing system on the right topic within the person’s mind so it will be effective. The technique is fairly simple thing to do, but to do it well requires skill and talent. Nonetheless, it comes down to a simple thing: simply saying words about how you feel about the subject you wish to address.
For instance, if you want to address the issue of sexuality, you would first determine how much worry, anxiety, frustration and stress you have over it using a SUDS (Subjective Understanding of Distress Scale) between 1-10 with 10 being the most uncomfortable and note your number for later reference. Then you would start by lightly tapping the side of the palm on your non-dominant hand with the first two fingers of your dominant hand continuously. You would first reduce Resistance to Change in the following fashion: “Even though I may have a lot of resistance to change, I love and accept myself nonetheless.”
“Even though I cannot change this way of thinking in my life, I accept myself anyway.”
Then tap the following points 5-7 times as you say the words:
Eyebrow EB – “I have a lot of resistance to change.”
Side of Eye SE- “I have a ton of resistance to change.”
Under eye UE- “I’m afraid I’ll never get over my resistance to change.”
Under nose UN- “My fears keep me from changing.”
Under mouth UM-“I’m actually afraid of change.”
Collarbone CB – “I’ll never get over this resistance to change.”
Under arm UA – “I really want to change, but I’m afraid.”
Top of head TH-“How will I ever get over this when I’m always afraid?”
Repeat this series of words a couple of more times until you feel your body take a deep breath without trying and without restrictions.
Now, moving on to changing sexual inhibitions. First, feel into yourself and determine how many inhibitions you feel about sex and sexual intimacy, honor, respect and the lack of those things when you consider becoming sexual with someone. Determine a number on your SUDS scale of 1-10 with 10 being disgusted and experiencing a feeling of avoidance to the entire issue. Note your discomfort scale number for future reference.
Now, tapping continuously on the side of the palm opposite your dominant hand say the following words:
“Even though I’m embarrassed to even consider having sex with anyone or even considering being intimate with anyone else, I love and respect myself nonetheless.”
“I can’t even consider allowing anyone else to touch my private/intimate areas and don’t think I ever will let anyone touch me there, yet I’m also feeling frustrated and feel like I’m not expressing my own sexuality completely, but I’m doing the best I can for now and I want to change all this.”
Then tap the following points 5-7 times as you say the words:
Eyebrow EB – “I don’t feel comfortable with my own sexuality.”
Side of Eye SE – “I want to change this about me, but don’t know how.”
Under eye UE – “I’m afraid I’ll never get over my inhibitions – ever.”
Under nose UN – “My fears about being a “good girl” keep me from changing.”
Under mouth UM -“I’m actually afraid of changing because I may go crazy.”
Collarbone CB – “I’m afraid I’ll never be able to feel my own sexual feelings.”
Under arm UA – “I really want to change, but I’m afraid of myself.”
Top of head TH -“How will I ever get over this when I’m always afraid?”
Finish by tapping the side of your opposing palm again and finalize the wording in this first round by saying “All these fears about feeling my sexuality.” Drop your hands, take a deep breath and check in with your SUDS to see if anything has changed in your numbers. Note the next number and start in by tapping the side of the opposing palm again saying the following words:
“Even though I’m feeling a little better already, I’m still feeling embarrassed just talking about sex this way, yet I love and accept myself nonetheless.”
“Even though I still can’t even consider having sex with anyone or think about being intimate with anyone else, I love and respect myself nonetheless.”
“I still can’t consider allowing anyone else to touch my private parts, yet I’m already feeling a little better about the entire thing and I’m feeling a little relieved about it and I want to change it even more now.”
Start tapping all the following points 5-7 times each again and say the following words:
Eyebrow EB – “I’m feeling better already and I like the feeling.”
Side of Eye SE – “I feel like I’m already changing things in my life and I want to change even more now that I’m seeing what can be done.”
Under eye UE – “I still have a little fear within me, but I feel like I may be able to release my inhibitions.”
Under nose UN – “My fears about being a “good girl” are starting to leave me.”
Under mouth UM -“I’m actually a little less afraid of changing because I now believe I can change.”
Collarbone CB – “I’m actually looking forward to start to allow myself to feel my own sexual feelings.”
Under arm UA – “I really want to change how I’ve always felt before and start feeling sexy.”
Top of head TH -“I believe I can start to feel my own sexual feelings without guilty and I like that idea.”
Finish the second round by tapping the side of your opposing palm again and finalize the wording in this first round by saying “All these fears about feeling my sexuality are leaving and I’m going to allow myself to feel my own sexuality again.” Drop your hands, take a deep breath and check in with your SUDS to see if anything has changed in your numbers. Note the next number and start in by tapping the side of the opposing palm again saying the following words:
Eyebrow EB – “I’m feeling much better and I’m liking these feelings.”
Side of Eye SE – “I feel like things are changing in front of my eyes and I am changing how I feel about my own sexuality.”
Under eye UE – “I’m feeling much better already and I can see this can work for me. This is great!”
Under nose UN – “My fears about being a “good girl” are leaving me now and I like that.”
Under mouth UM -“I’m a lot less afraid of letting go and allowing my body to feel sexually again. I believe I can change this entire thing and be less inhibited.”
Collarbone CB – “I’m actually feeling less inhibited already and I’m looking forward to allowing myself to feel my own sexual feelings completely.”
Under arm UA – “I choose to change how I feel about myself and my own sexuality. God gave it to me, why would I want to inhibit that? I’m starting to feel sexy already.”
Top of head TH -“I allow myself to feel my own sexual feelings without guilt and express myself without guilt, fear or recriminations.”
Finish the third round by tapping the side of your opposing palm again and finalize the wording in this first round by saying “All these fears about feeling my sexuality have left and I choose to allow myself to feel my sexuality fully again.” Drop your hands, take a deep breath and check in with your SUDS to see if anything has changed in your numbers. If you are not at a zero SUDS, do as many more rounds as you need to get yourself to a zero. You may change the wording to customize any of the phrases to better address your own issues. This same regimen can be used by both genders with only slight changes in the wording.
Remember to breath deeply as you feel emotional releases as you do the tapping. That is how you’ll know things are changing within you. In the event you should have a relapse of morality hit you when you’re least looking, simply tap on it at the time you’re feeling it and it should depart as quickly as it appeared.
As you place yourself in the position to feel your prior inhibitions again, remember you now have a means of eliminating those inhibitions on the spot using EFT. If they should arise again, simply tap as you feel them the most and they will also depart quickly and permanently.
Good luck and enjoy your God-given sexuality. That’s why it was given to you. Of course, always practice safe sex.
Use words to the effect:
“Even though I want to be more sexually expressive, I find that I’m to shy or retiring and it stops me cold. Yet, I love and accept myself nonetheless.” Or,
“Even though I want to feel free to enjoy sex, I just can’t seem to allow it without getting into my head and then all my stress and anxiety kick in and I’m completely incapable of relaxing and enjoying it. Yet, no matter what happens, I accept myself, just as I am if necessary.”
These phrases are said while continuously tapping on the side of the palm of your non-dominant hand (the Karate Chop spot – KC) as you say the words offered. And you can change the words to be more consistent with your actual thoughts, since only you know exactly how you feel. But stay close to how you feel. In fact, feel that way as much as you can while you’re doing the tapping and you’ll see bigger and better results.
Then you move on to the reminder phrases as you tap the various meridian access points. They are as follows:
Eye-brow EB – “I wish I could be more free sexually, but I can’t”
Side of eye SE – “I just can’t get over all those old feelings that “it’s wrong” no matter how I feel.”
Under eye UE – “I sure wish I could overcome those withholding feelings, but I just can’t do it.”
Under nose UN – “I only feel sexy when I’m alone.”
Under mouth UM – “I can’t share my sexy feelings with anyone.”
Collarbone CB – “It never feels safe to relax and just enjoy sex.”
Underarm UA – “I’m afraid I’ll never get over this anxiety about sex.”
Top of Head TH – “i sure wish I could give up these old thoughts and enjoy my life.”
Then tap the KC side of palm again, stop and take a deep breath and check in with your “problem” again to see if there has been any change in it. Note any change and do the same technique again, changing the words only slightly to note any reduction in your SUDS scale of 1-10.
Keep doing this same technique until your SUDS gets down to a 0-1 and you’ll notice you won’t be feeling the same level of anxiety any longer about sex or freedom. Now, don’t be surprised if it comes back again, because it has likely been with you for a long time, however, keep doing the same technique over and over until it no longer shows up when you find yourself in that enjoyable position of being able to finally say “yes” without guilt or anxiety. Now that’s freedom and it’s at your disposal using EFT regularly.
You can use this same technique on any aspect of life by simply changing the words as you do the same technique. And, oh yes, “Try it on everything.” It really works wonders.