Staying Away From a Toxic Ex – 3 Tips For Following Through

Many people who leave a toxic relationship express how challenging it is to follow through. Unfortunately, being in the relationship often chips away at self esteem and self worth. Thus, the person leaving often has creeping doubts about whether he or she can make it emotionally or practically on his or her own. First of all, if you have made it to the point of leaving, you deserve a great deal of credit. What this means is that you’ve got more reserves and strength than you realize. Secondly, this is a challenge and it is very important to have as many support systems in place as possible. Here are 3 tips to help you follow through on a decision you know is right for you, but that you’re struggling with:

1. Make yourself a priority. Take care of your body as well as your mind. Eat healthy meals, focusing on organic, unprocessed foods as much as possible. Take vitamins and supplements. Fish oil and a food based multivitamin is a good start for many people, and a naturopath can put together a supplement menu that is tailored to your specific health needs. Begin a doctor approved exercise program. Cardiovascular exercise is ideal, as it releases endorphins which help elevate mood. Not only will your health improve, but your body image will increase, and you are sending yourself the message that you are worth the effort.

2. Develop and expand your support network of family, friends, and professionals who are positive encouragements. In a toxic relationship, you are frequently programmed or assimilate the belief that you aren’t worthy of good treatment or loving behavior on the part of a partner. It is important that you fill your mind with positive, affirming messages about you and your strengths. Friends and family can help emotionally support you as well as fill your social calendar. Professionals such as coaches and counselors can help you sort out emotions and create goals for moving forward with your new life – a life you are now in control of inventing.

3. Get back in touch with your own instincts for self-preservation. Frequently in toxic relationships, the red flag or self preserving instinct is activated, but you suppress it in order to stay in the relationship. Become aware of how your body reacts to certain people and situations. Visualize the chemicals that are released, and feel the effects on your body. Are you tense, agitated, or fearful with someone? Or are you relaxed and at ease? Start moving toward people and situations that are safe and comfortable, and away from people who cause you anxiety, tension, or shame – including and especially your ex.